EXPLORING CULTURE
I am exploring my Chinese roots this summer by studying abroad at Shanghai University and visiting my relatives in Wuhan. I was actually born in Guangzhou, China, and raised by my grandparents and other extended family until I joined my parents in the States at the age of four. Over the years, my ability to converse fluently in Chinese has slowly worsened due to lack of use; my family mainly speaks English at home. After my grandfather passed away this year, I struggled with an enormous amount of guilt for not being able to talk to him in Chinese well. I was unable to attend his funeral in China and regret that I did not care for him in his vulnerable age when he took care of me as a child. His passing solidified my desire to study Chinese this summer so that language would no longer be a barrier to family communications. I needed to find peace.
I have always viewed my early childhood in Wuhan as a period of loneliness without my parents. However, returning to Wuhan has led me to understand that my childhood wasn’t a lost tragedy but exactly the opposite. Here amongst relatives who reminisce of me as a toddler in their arms, I can see how much they care about me and can’t imagine that I spent the early years of my life in anything less than the absolute warmth of family. The Chinese have very strong family values and believe in taking care of one another. I know that I was definitely well cared for, and have found solace in the understanding that my grandfather was too.
I arrived in China with a heart of regrets. However, the reality is that I can’t rewrite the past and tell four year old me to never forget her Chinese, to always remember her family. I can only decide which direction that I want to move in. This summer is the only free one that I am given in the architecture curriculum and my opportunity to learn more about my past and culture to inform my future. One glance around the city at all of the new construction projects, especially high rises to accommodate China’s huge population, and I can see that China would be a great place for an architect, especially if it means that I be closer to family. I hope to get as immersed as possible in Chinese culture, for both personal and professional reasons.
Return to Year-In-Review
I have always viewed my early childhood in Wuhan as a period of loneliness without my parents. However, returning to Wuhan has led me to understand that my childhood wasn’t a lost tragedy but exactly the opposite. Here amongst relatives who reminisce of me as a toddler in their arms, I can see how much they care about me and can’t imagine that I spent the early years of my life in anything less than the absolute warmth of family. The Chinese have very strong family values and believe in taking care of one another. I know that I was definitely well cared for, and have found solace in the understanding that my grandfather was too.
I arrived in China with a heart of regrets. However, the reality is that I can’t rewrite the past and tell four year old me to never forget her Chinese, to always remember her family. I can only decide which direction that I want to move in. This summer is the only free one that I am given in the architecture curriculum and my opportunity to learn more about my past and culture to inform my future. One glance around the city at all of the new construction projects, especially high rises to accommodate China’s huge population, and I can see that China would be a great place for an architect, especially if it means that I be closer to family. I hope to get as immersed as possible in Chinese culture, for both personal and professional reasons.
Return to Year-In-Review